I don’t know if I will be able to sleep tonight. Tomorrow I will be adopting an Australian Queensland Heeler girl pup. I am pretty sure I am already madly in love with her and we’ve only met once. My heart has been well primed for a huge capacity to love her, because I loved one of her kind for 15 years, all of her days... And I will continue to love Honey all of mine.
In January of this year, I had to put down my precious pet of 15 years, Honey Bunny. She was pure love and sweeter than her name could ever suggest. It was by far one of, if not thee most painful times in my life. With just typing those words my eyes have filled instantly with tears and my nose is flushed and red.
I miss Honey so very much. I still call out her name to see if she will come running. I still walk carefully when I wake to get a drink of water or head to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I hold my breath when I unlock the front door after returning home, hoping on hope that she will look around the corner as she stretches out her long nap.
i cry hard. Still.
How wonderful.
Yes. How wonderful. No, I’m not a glutton for pain, but I am a sucker for love. Deep love. Love expands us. Honey, and my love for her, expanded my heart and capacity to love and receive love so much, that when she left this planet she no doubt left a huge gaping hole. Of course she did. How could she not? She was amazing.
Don’t let me fool you. I would give anything to not had to have gone through such a loss. I would give anything to reverse it, but only with having Honey forever, not in never having had her. Both are simply not my reality. I cannot have a dog, Honey or otherwise, that lives forever... and my reality would not have accepted anything BUT having that sweet dog to love for 15 years.
So here I go, again. In honor of my baby-mama, Honey Bunny, that I rescued and adopted almost 16 years ago, I will rescue and adopt again. In Honey’s footsteps and paw prints that left a trail to the expansive heart of mine she primed for love, another has made her way to me and I will be kissed by one of her kind in less that 12 hours.
I cant wait to love another dog, while I still love another dog. Always and still.
Choose to love... over and over and over again. Always and still.
I miss you, baby girl. My sweet Honey Bunny.
I’m coming to get you baby girl.